27/03/06
26/03/06
I'm having one of those days where my brain seems to be trapped in an ever-tightening feedback loop of irrational self-doubt and negativity. Every thought meanders around the edge and then crumbles back in on itself. Cozy old chords seem improperly-tuned. Everything is alien and bad.
I don't know why. It started out as nicely as any day ever could, and absolutely nothing bad has happened since. If I didn't know better, I'd suspect I was having an acid flashback. It's similar in that sleep seems like the only possible respite, but it will not come. I'm wired fucking negative right now.
I also don't know why all the drug references lately. I really don't spend much time thinking like this in the real world. This is the extent of how articulate I can be right now, but it seemed like trying to pin it down a bit would help get it out of my system. I'm gonna go stare at the ceiling and wait for it to be tommorrow now. What a terrible waste of life.
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I don't know why. It started out as nicely as any day ever could, and absolutely nothing bad has happened since. If I didn't know better, I'd suspect I was having an acid flashback. It's similar in that sleep seems like the only possible respite, but it will not come. I'm wired fucking negative right now.
I also don't know why all the drug references lately. I really don't spend much time thinking like this in the real world. This is the extent of how articulate I can be right now, but it seemed like trying to pin it down a bit would help get it out of my system. I'm gonna go stare at the ceiling and wait for it to be tommorrow now. What a terrible waste of life.
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22/03/06
Anyway, moving along...
Y'know what I fucking hate? The fucking MUSIC INDUSTRY. GO FIGURE.
I know, I know. Too easy. Calm down. But just TELL ME HOW TO GET A GODDMNED WORK VISA YOU GLORIFIED USED CAR SALESMAN. I DON'T WANT TO JOIN YR STUPID SHITTY UNION. I DON'T CARE HOW MANY RITA MACNEIL ALBUMS YOU PLAYED ON. I DON'T CARE THAT I CAN GET DISCOUNTS ON BOAT CRUISES. WHY THE FUCK WOULD I WANT TO JOIN AN ORGANIZATION THAT WILL PENALIZE ME FOR EVERY FUCKING SHOW I WILL EVER PLAY IN MY LIFE? WHO FUCKING INVENTED THIS SYSTEM?
RITA MACNEIL, THAT'S WHO. ACTUALLY I DON'T FUCKING KNOW, BUT NONE OF THIS IS PROTECTING MY RIGHTS OR INTERESTS AS AN ARTIST. I'M SORRY WE CAN'T BOOK A PUNK ROCK TOUR ASKING FOR THOUSAND-DOLLAR GUARANTEES AND THAT THAT SOMEHOW TAKES FOOD OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF STARVING BABY CALIFORNIAN MUSICIANS. FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU.
I WILL PROBABLY DELETE THIS ENTRY LATER, BECAUSE I PROBABLY SHOULDN'T EVEN BE TALKING ABOUT IT HERE.
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Y'know what I fucking hate? The fucking MUSIC INDUSTRY. GO FIGURE.
I know, I know. Too easy. Calm down. But just TELL ME HOW TO GET A GODDMNED WORK VISA YOU GLORIFIED USED CAR SALESMAN. I DON'T WANT TO JOIN YR STUPID SHITTY UNION. I DON'T CARE HOW MANY RITA MACNEIL ALBUMS YOU PLAYED ON. I DON'T CARE THAT I CAN GET DISCOUNTS ON BOAT CRUISES. WHY THE FUCK WOULD I WANT TO JOIN AN ORGANIZATION THAT WILL PENALIZE ME FOR EVERY FUCKING SHOW I WILL EVER PLAY IN MY LIFE? WHO FUCKING INVENTED THIS SYSTEM?
RITA MACNEIL, THAT'S WHO. ACTUALLY I DON'T FUCKING KNOW, BUT NONE OF THIS IS PROTECTING MY RIGHTS OR INTERESTS AS AN ARTIST. I'M SORRY WE CAN'T BOOK A PUNK ROCK TOUR ASKING FOR THOUSAND-DOLLAR GUARANTEES AND THAT THAT SOMEHOW TAKES FOOD OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF STARVING BABY CALIFORNIAN MUSICIANS. FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU.
I WILL PROBABLY DELETE THIS ENTRY LATER, BECAUSE I PROBABLY SHOULDN'T EVEN BE TALKING ABOUT IT HERE.
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16/03/06
"You are a good-looking man," she says, cupping my Elmer Fudd/Keith's-pedophile-dude facial hair configuration in her hands, "But this... this is not good."
Sorry, but it stays at least until someone takes a picture. And maybe until it is no longer a conversation piece.
Oddly, I'm pretty sure she still wanted to come home with me. Women are fascinating beasts.
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14/03/06
I've decided that when I grow up I wanna be Bob Pollard. Who's with me? I really admire all you guys who are becoming librarians and moms and editors and film producers, but when this is all you know at the age of 30, what the fuck else do you do with a life?
If only I could afford a 4-track.
How pathetic is that.
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If only I could afford a 4-track.
How pathetic is that.
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