31/07/04
I'll finish this story tomorrow. I promise.
Hopefully I'll remember to start it by sometime yesterday.
Come to the Seahorse tonight. Let's call it the "meantime."
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Hopefully I'll remember to start it by sometime yesterday.
Come to the Seahorse tonight. Let's call it the "meantime."
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27/07/04
A fedora. I've always wanted a fedora and now I have one, by sheer and excellent coincidence. And I'm going to wear it every single day. Get used to it. This is just too perfect.
Somehow this hat has offset the depression -once again random circumstance has saved me, by no intelligent design at all- that I've been on the brink of for weeks. There's probably something I should be learning from all this, but fuck off; now I have a hat.
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Somehow this hat has offset the depression -once again random circumstance has saved me, by no intelligent design at all- that I've been on the brink of for weeks. There's probably something I should be learning from all this, but fuck off; now I have a hat.
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26/07/04
Man milk or moo milk?
I got 13 out of 16.
And seriously, is that like a Momus song or something? I doubt it. That'd just be too much.
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I got 13 out of 16.
And seriously, is that like a Momus song or something? I doubt it. That'd just be too much.
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25/07/04
Ummmmmmmmmm...
EDIT.
Never again, tequila, you vile, ruinous drug, you. I'm fucking serious. How is all of Mexico not criminally insane?
I think I'm gonna lay off the sauce for a little while. Having maybe a little too much fun lately, at some detriment to the creative aspects of my life. Plus, dude, I'm downright fucking impoverished after this past weekend. Anybody wanna loan me twenty bucks till Friday?
Haha, I thought not.
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EDIT.
Never again, tequila, you vile, ruinous drug, you. I'm fucking serious. How is all of Mexico not criminally insane?
I think I'm gonna lay off the sauce for a little while. Having maybe a little too much fun lately, at some detriment to the creative aspects of my life. Plus, dude, I'm downright fucking impoverished after this past weekend. Anybody wanna loan me twenty bucks till Friday?
Haha, I thought not.
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24/07/04
Ok, I'm not usually this fickle (I swear!), but I already have a new Favourite Thing Ever . It also came in the mail, and it's also a (slightly belated) birthday present, and it's also from one of those weirdos called "women," but the similarity ends there. Like, profoundly.
If the recent past has taught me anything, it's that I really ought to not think of things in terms of "highs" and "lows," so I'll just say that this gift has been the perfect soundtrack for all kinds of sideways over the past 24 hours. I hope my face doesn't melt.
Liane, you've gotta be all the way around the bend to construct something like this, but goddamn if you don't fucking rule.
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If the recent past has taught me anything, it's that I really ought to not think of things in terms of "highs" and "lows," so I'll just say that this gift has been the perfect soundtrack for all kinds of sideways over the past 24 hours. I hope my face doesn't melt.
Liane, you've gotta be all the way around the bend to construct something like this, but goddamn if you don't fucking rule.
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22/07/04
Ok, so I guess I don't need antibiotics after all, because I'm not going to develop rheumatic fever, because I don't have strep throat. After reading all that medical literature, I was still paranoid enough to convince the doctor to do a culture, but it was her asessment that this was a routine viral infection that would most likely run its course all the way past the mill before I even got the results back. And, well, I almost felt silly going to the hospital at this point, because I do feel roughly 247% better today. Funny how sitting around for a couple hours surrounded by people in traction can do that to a guy.
But I really did feel like shit there for a couple days, and hey, if anything it was a great excuse to lie in bed watching hour after hour of syndicated cable television. To all the girls who told me to watch Sex and the City, because I "might learn something": you lie. I watched like a ten-hour marathon. Ten hours! Now I wish I liked men! But then I suppose I'd have to watch Will and Grace, which is, admittedly, far, far worse.
Much more enlightening (or maybe I should say: less profoundly alien to me) was getting to read my new Favourite Thing Ever cover-to-cover in nearly one sitting; that thing being Lynne Truss's Eats, Shoots & Leaves. I have about six pages left to go, and I'm totally gonna read the whole thing over again the moment I finish it. By far the most entertaining thing I've ever read that might even remotely qualify as some sort of reference book. It inspires in me inadequacy as a writer in only the most endearing of ways possible. I am in awe of this woman. Everybody who gives even half a shit about the written word needs to read this book.
Contemplating going to the bar now that I'm certifiably "healthy," but now I feel like everybody's gonna treat me like a leper, haha. Maybe I'll just go lie down and read some more. Not like I couldn't stand to be doing more of that.
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But I really did feel like shit there for a couple days, and hey, if anything it was a great excuse to lie in bed watching hour after hour of syndicated cable television. To all the girls who told me to watch Sex and the City, because I "might learn something": you lie. I watched like a ten-hour marathon. Ten hours! Now I wish I liked men! But then I suppose I'd have to watch Will and Grace, which is, admittedly, far, far worse.
Much more enlightening (or maybe I should say: less profoundly alien to me) was getting to read my new Favourite Thing Ever cover-to-cover in nearly one sitting; that thing being Lynne Truss's Eats, Shoots & Leaves. I have about six pages left to go, and I'm totally gonna read the whole thing over again the moment I finish it. By far the most entertaining thing I've ever read that might even remotely qualify as some sort of reference book. It inspires in me inadequacy as a writer in only the most endearing of ways possible. I am in awe of this woman. Everybody who gives even half a shit about the written word needs to read this book.
Contemplating going to the bar now that I'm certifiably "healthy," but now I feel like everybody's gonna treat me like a leper, haha. Maybe I'll just go lie down and read some more. Not like I couldn't stand to be doing more of that.
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21/07/04
I think I have strep throat. Ugh. I don't have medical coverage right now. In fact, I don't even have Medicare. It expired like last week, and renewing it just didn't seem all that bloody pressing, y'know?
I was just gonna ride this out -I haven't bothered with antibiotics for years now (well, except for that time with the, er, gonorrhoea, but let's not go into that right now), since they are so often misprescribed anyway- but I just researched strep throat on the internet, and there is apparrently some small risk of developing rheumatic fever if left untreated, which can lead to several permanent afflictions, including increased risk of heart attack. Already being a smoker and a mild hypochondriac, this wasn't exactly what I'd hoped to find.
Fuck, I don't want to have to take care of all this shit tomorrow; the only things I want right now are bed and some hot and sour soup.
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I was just gonna ride this out -I haven't bothered with antibiotics for years now (well, except for that time with the, er, gonorrhoea, but let's not go into that right now), since they are so often misprescribed anyway- but I just researched strep throat on the internet, and there is apparrently some small risk of developing rheumatic fever if left untreated, which can lead to several permanent afflictions, including increased risk of heart attack. Already being a smoker and a mild hypochondriac, this wasn't exactly what I'd hoped to find.
Fuck, I don't want to have to take care of all this shit tomorrow; the only things I want right now are bed and some hot and sour soup.
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19/07/04
My God. Everything is just so beautiful and awesome and sad and lonely and impossible and impossibly right right now. I wish I could share this feeling with everybody, but there are no words for this profundity.
And no, I'm not on drugs. I'm really not even that drunk. This is more than that. This is epic, for no reason at all, and I hope beyond hope that every last one of you has this feeling at least once, because I think maybe this is the essence of life.
Take care, and feel a lot.
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And no, I'm not on drugs. I'm really not even that drunk. This is more than that. This is epic, for no reason at all, and I hope beyond hope that every last one of you has this feeling at least once, because I think maybe this is the essence of life.
Take care, and feel a lot.
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Goddamn, I wanted to wear my Halifax Burlesque Society (I'll fix that into a link later, but right now I'm on my way out the door to get drunk again) t-shirt tonight, 'cause I've been wearing the same clothes for I-don't-remember-how-many-days now, and it's a really nice shirt and I hope to do everything within my power to endorse this burlesque shit from now until eternity and beyond... but I keep forgetting to wash it, and I got a bad rash once from wearing a new shirt unwashed. I've got thenthitive thkin.
Checking my stat counter for the first time in forever, I see that someone stumbled across this site by googling "bloody anus Goldschlager." Wicked. Stick around, dude.
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Checking my stat counter for the first time in forever, I see that someone stumbled across this site by googling "bloody anus Goldschlager." Wicked. Stick around, dude.
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17/07/04
Ok, you know it's a bender when yr too drunk to figure out how to put underwear on.
I'd say "who needs it anyway?" but my jeans are a little ripped for that.
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I'd say "who needs it anyway?" but my jeans are a little ripped for that.
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16/07/04
My libido is so pissed at my ego right now.
Feel free to slap me, be it either for being vaguely misogynistic and trying ridiculously to take some hot chick down a notch, thereby somehow damaging her self-image (unlikely), or for being a moron who whines about never getting laid but pulls shit like this when the opportunity arises. Just please do me the small favour of removing my glasses first. I'm looking at you, Keegan Tobias Rochman.
For the record, I would like to take this moment to formally dispell any faulty impressions that might be drawn from my previous comments on this. I in NO WAY condone any implication that the showing of tits to myself is "retarded," and, in fact, if this were my world to do with what I pleased there would be burlesque on every street corner, at all times. This is not a solicitation, but please feel free to go with that interpretation, if you are so inclined.
I'm totally gonna "Psst" that girl an apology.
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Feel free to slap me, be it either for being vaguely misogynistic and trying ridiculously to take some hot chick down a notch, thereby somehow damaging her self-image (unlikely), or for being a moron who whines about never getting laid but pulls shit like this when the opportunity arises. Just please do me the small favour of removing my glasses first. I'm looking at you, Keegan Tobias Rochman.
For the record, I would like to take this moment to formally dispell any faulty impressions that might be drawn from my previous comments on this. I in NO WAY condone any implication that the showing of tits to myself is "retarded," and, in fact, if this were my world to do with what I pleased there would be burlesque on every street corner, at all times. This is not a solicitation, but please feel free to go with that interpretation, if you are so inclined.
I'm totally gonna "Psst" that girl an apology.
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15/07/04
If I had the chance, I'd ask the world to dance.
Oh, oh, oh.
That's right.
I can't believe it really works. So happy.
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Oh, oh, oh.
That's right.
I can't believe it really works. So happy.
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I feel like such an idiot asshole. I got this girl at the gay bar tonight to show me her tits, and then I told her they were too big.
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02/07/04
Drank way too much, had way too much fun, and stayed up way past any hour that might conceivably be construed as part of "Wednesday night" and well into beautiful, sunny Thursday morning. Consequently slept way less than hoped-for and woke up way later than scheduled to go record with as-yet-unnamed third band.
Scrambled out of bed to an unrelenting seige of phone calls and instant messages and ringing doorbells (well, just one of those, really), got my bleary shit together and prayed to a god that I reserve belief in for times just such as these that a decent shower would purge the still-drunk from my system and the goofy grin from my face.
Sorta worked, but I was still a little slanted as I careered around the apartment gathering the trinkets of the trade, and when the phone rang for the nth time I answered with a pre-emptive "Ok, I'm ready to go, like RIGHT NOW!"
"Haha, what? Eben, it's Chelsa."
Well this was certainly unexpected. Turns out that Chelsa- who has previously been referred to as my "non-genetic twin sister"- moved to Halifax just last week, and had been trying to get in touch with me ever since. Man, I really need to set up my answering machine one of these days. But yeah, what a weird, cool coincidence; I'd actually just been talking about her that morning, and seriously, I don't even remember the last time I'd even mentioned her in conversation before that. Also really cool is that our birthday is only just a little over two weeks away, and I don't think we've celebrated it together since we turned 21 or 22. Aaaaand now I don't have to go to the burlesque show alone and feel all creepy-like.
This rules. My money says we end up sick of each other sometime into the first week of August, but there's bound to be a good time or twelve in the meantime.
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Scrambled out of bed to an unrelenting seige of phone calls and instant messages and ringing doorbells (well, just one of those, really), got my bleary shit together and prayed to a god that I reserve belief in for times just such as these that a decent shower would purge the still-drunk from my system and the goofy grin from my face.
Sorta worked, but I was still a little slanted as I careered around the apartment gathering the trinkets of the trade, and when the phone rang for the nth time I answered with a pre-emptive "Ok, I'm ready to go, like RIGHT NOW!"
"Haha, what? Eben, it's Chelsa."
Well this was certainly unexpected. Turns out that Chelsa- who has previously been referred to as my "non-genetic twin sister"- moved to Halifax just last week, and had been trying to get in touch with me ever since. Man, I really need to set up my answering machine one of these days. But yeah, what a weird, cool coincidence; I'd actually just been talking about her that morning, and seriously, I don't even remember the last time I'd even mentioned her in conversation before that. Also really cool is that our birthday is only just a little over two weeks away, and I don't think we've celebrated it together since we turned 21 or 22. Aaaaand now I don't have to go to the burlesque show alone and feel all creepy-like.
This rules. My money says we end up sick of each other sometime into the first week of August, but there's bound to be a good time or twelve in the meantime.
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